Pierrot
by Stephcake
Summary: A story based on the characters of the Pierrot PV, so no Vocaloids really appear. Didn't know where else to put this *shrug*


_Based on the Vocaloid song__ by KEI and the awesome PV by RAHWIA :3  
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_Dedicated to my awesome sis who keeps motivating me to write fic. Damn you, Alicja!_

_Excuse the random time jumps and the POV change at the end ^^; I just got the urge to write something about this one evening and this is what happened... I'm thinking about continuing it, actually XD I hope it's not_ too_ crappy.

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**_Pierrot_**

I had known him ever since I was a little girl; back when a wandering circus had decided to stay in my hometown permanently.

I had met him in the forest, in my favourite clearing - the place I usually went to when I was sad and didn't want anyone to see me cry.

I was just eleven then, running away from an argument with my father, tears in my eyes - and then there had been this… _person_ in what I had come to call _my_ clearing, _my_ hiding place, apparently trying to balance on a big red ball, wearing a clown's mask.

He lost his balance with a little yelp as soon as he spotted me, and I couldn't suppress a small smile, despite the tears still threatening to fall from my eyes.

The mask had come off as he fell, and I was met with a smiling boy, probably not much older than me, bowing and asking me if he could try to make me laugh.

* * *

Both of us had grown up; he had recently become one of the main attractions of the small circus and I… I was supposed to marry a man I didn't even like. Coincidentally, my father telling me about this engagement against my will was the reason I went to the clearing that day, seven years earlier.

I had watched his progress closely ever since we became friends.

I would be the first person to see his performance ideas; if I laughed, he'd deem them worthy of a bigger audience - a fact that often brought a smile to my face.

Growing up doesn't always happen without pain, though. I had seen my pierrot get hurt a lot - be it by falling off his ball, riding his unicycle into a tree or being hurt by discouraging comments from the audience; or stones thrown at him by said people in the audience.

And yet, through all this he smiled - his pierrot mask had become a permanent part in his face.

He would keep up the lie even in front of me, saying he was just fine and making me laugh with his antics despite really wanting to cry in his stead.

* * *

Now, I'm in the circus, sitting in the audience with the man who calls himself my fiancé. He invited me, strangely enough, even though he had often voiced his dislike of the circus in general and one pierrot in particular. I assumed he had invited me here because this was probably the only place I would've gone to willingly.

I was half-right.

* * *

I had seen him practice this routine for years, it seemed - balancing his unicycle on a rope, nowhere near the ground and without a safety net in sight - but my heart always raced with worry, no matter if the rope was barely off the ground or several meters up.

When I asked him, he simply said that he wants to see the audience in awe, being happy, and he'd do his best to make that happen.

Tonight, as I was watching my pierrot climb up the ladder to start his performance, I could feel my fiancé's eyes boring into me. It made me nervous - it was like he was waiting for something to happen.

The man I was supposed to marry to please our families wasn't exactly a bad person. He kept trying to make me like the whole situation, probably because he was sick of me not behaving like the perfect wife he wanted me to be. But I wasn't going to change for him; I didn't love him and I never would, no matter how many presents he gave me.

* * *

When his unicycle touched the rope, my breath stopped - no matter how often I had seen him do this, the fear never left me - as I watched him slowly make his way to the other side.

This time, however, he never made it there.

Halfway across, the rope ripped, he lost his balance and _fell-_

For a moment, I thought my heart had stopped along with my breathing. Then, I ran.

I faintly heard my fiancé call out to me, but all I could see was my pierrot, lying on the ground, not moving, his mask having fallen off just as when I'd first seen him-

Dropping to my knees as soon as I reached him, I gently lifted his head, willing him to just_ move, please don't be dead, please, I-_

When he finally opened his eyes after what seemed like an eternity, it felt like _I _had died and come back to life in the meantime. My eyes filled with tears of relief as my breathing resumed.

„I'm alright, it doesn't hurt at all", he smiled, despite his bleeding forehead and probably more injuries I couldn't see, and I just couldn't take it anymore.

„It's fine, you don't have to smile perfectly. That way you don't have to lie about it again." I said as tears started dropping onto his face, „It's alright, you don't have to hold it in, I'll cry with you…" I sobbed.

He looked… shocked at my tearful words. His smile froze and slowly vanished, replaced with an expression of pain as his eyes filled with tears of his own.

And for the first time in seven years, I saw him cry as he took off his mental mask and showed me his real self.

I don't know how long we stayed there, me holding him as we both cried, but suddenly there was a doctor next to me, gently asking me to move so he could check on my pierrot. I reluctantly started to move away, but he grabbed my hand and held it, a hint of his smile returning as he looked at me.

I looked around during the doctor's quick examination; the audience was gone. I assumed they had cancelled the performance after the fall. I saw two of the workers nearby look at one end of the rope, seemingly puzzled.

And I also saw my fiancé standing near the exit. I wiped the last stray tears from my eyes to clearly see his expression. He was scowling at us (Just me? Just my pierrot? There was no way to tell). Then, he left.

* * *

My pierrot had been extremely lucky when he fell. He easily could have died, but he got away with a head wound and a broken leg. He would be stuck in hospital for awhile, but he'd be alright. You can't imagine my relief when I heard these words.

I had visited him almost every day since the accident, bringing him books and other things to keep him entertained; after all, I knew how hard it was for him to stay still.

On the fifth day, one of the circus' stage hands visited him. Nothing unusual, I thought, until I noticed his guilty expression and the envelope he was fidgeting with.

But when he gave my pierrot an envelope filled with money and told us he'd been paid to cut the rope and stood here in front of us, on the verge of tears, saying _I'm_ _so sorry, please forgive me, I needed money but I just couldn't keep it and-_

My pierrot smiled, a _real_ smile, and forgave him, even said he knew about his money troubles and he didn't have to give him the money-

Meanwhile, a horrible feeling had overcome me. I asked what the man who paid him looked like - only to get a description of a man looking a lot like my fiancé.

My hand flew to my mouth in shock. I never would've thought he'd go this far. Did he really intend to kill my pierrot so he'd have my undivided attention?

The stage hand quickly excused himself, seeing the state I was in. So I sat in my pierrot's hospital room, slowly realising that his injuries were in essence because of _me.  
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* * *

POV change_

I watched her as she sat on the edge of my bed, staring at the wall with her eyes wide and her hand at her mouth. I had placed the description of the man as well and could guess what she was thinking.

„It's not your fault, despite what you may think, you know," I said, gently touching her shoulder.

She slowly turned to look at me and her eyes changed from wide and scared to determined - and quite angry.

„You're right, it's _his_ fault. Sorry, but I have to go home right now," she said, suddenly in a hurry.

„Why? What's wrong?" I asked, not quite following her thoughts.

„I'm cancelling the engagement, of course." She crossed her arms, „I was going to bear it for my family's sake, but after he tried to get you killed- I can't. And my parents will understand that."

She smiled at me as she left the room, and, like every time she did it, I was rendered speechless by her beauty.

I couldn't remember a time when I hadn't loved her. It seemed to me like I had spent half my life trying to make her laugh just so I could watch her glow with happiness.

She didn't know that, of course. I was just a nameless pierrot working for a small circus - she was the daughter of an influential family. Our unlikely friendship had already caused us a lot of weird looks.

I had been about to confess my true feelings before, but… on the same day, she told me about her engagement and it felt like my heart cracked.

Of course I knew she didn't want to marry him - didn't even like him, even - but it drove home the fact that I just couldn't have her.

From then on, I hid behind my mask even more than before, hiding my feelings so that she wouldn't pity me.

Despite everything that had happened (I _was _in hospital, after all) I couldn't help but feel that it had been a good thing. Her engagement had made not just me, but _her_ unhappy too, and I absolutely hated seeing her unhappy.

Maybe now she would smile more often again?

Before I fell asleep that night, I wondered if her ex-fiancé would survive their next meeting or if my pretty friend's wrath would simply blow him away.

Needless to say, I fell asleep with a smile.


End file.
